Dear Little Brother,

As of this week, my little brother will have been away at college for exactly one month. In just a small span of time, he has experienced a huge array of conflicts, friendships, and more. These are just a small set of tips I have for him that I thought I might share with anyone else who might need a little pick me up.

Dear Ben,

This list isn't going to have all the answers. it is not going to solve all your problems, or ensure you a life of eternal happiness. What it will do is provide you with guidelines and philosophies that might aid you as you progress your final years of school. It is what I have learned in college and want to share with you. Make it count! Go get em'!

Rule #1: You can, and you will fail.

Despite your greatest efforts, sometimes you simply hit a roadblock. That does not mean you didn't try hard enough, study enough, and it definitely does not mean that are stupid. We all have our weaknesses, but you must remind yourself that you also have many strengths as well. You have not lost the fight, as long as you keep moving forward. It may not be as quickly as you'd like, but it's still progress.

Rule #2: You will gain and lose friendships.

It's just a fact of life. Sometimes it's because of arguments or differences. Other times it will just be because you've grown apart. You didn't do anything, interests diverted. But even when you've lost someone, always remember your heart now has the capacity to let someone else in. Let them. You'll never know just how special of a bond you can form if you let yourself wallow in hurt or hate.

Rule # 3: It's okay to want to be alone at times.

You're not socially awkward or antisocial. You are human. You can be tired. It's okay to need time to yourself to relax, breathe, and just enjoy a little bit of silence. Collect yourself and your thoughts. And when you're ready, go out there, better than you were, and face the world head-on!

Rule #4: There's no such thing as "perfect."

The sooner you realize that,e easier life will be. You can only be the best version of yourself and strive to improve yourself, but never aim for "perfect." It doesn't exist. Too many people kill themselves over a subjective concept.

Rule #5: Exhaustion can be rewarding.

Don't always take the easy way out. Sometimes a challenge is just the thing you need to remind you just how capable you really are. You have infinite potential. Tap into it. you'll be proud you did.

Rule #6: A promise is a promise.

It doesn't matter if you don't want to or change your mind. Your word is the most valuable and powerful thing you can give someone. And you can deny it, but you know it's true. Because there's someone whose words mean everything to you, too.

Rule #7: Explore.

You can't hide from the world, even if it is intimidating at times. Take the chance. Explore your hobbies, interests, mind, ideas, philosophies, etc... You can even take someone along on the journey with you if you'd like.

Rule #8: A long shower helps.

A long, hot shower and clean sheets won't solve all your problems, but they can certainly help the problem-solving process. A clean body can be just the thing to clear your mind and allow you to think of new ideas and solutions. Try it.

Rule #9: You don't need to diet.

It's a choice, to be taken at your own speed, with your own goals. Don't feel pressured to change for anyone but yourself and only if YOU want to. Good luck!

Rule #10: Ask.

It's scary to admit you're weak or need help. Do it anyway. Sometimes you simply have to set your pride aside and seek out the help of someone with more knowledge of expertise. You are not dumb, you're learning. Dumb people refuse to learn.

Rule #11: $pend wisely.

"Poor college student" is the common phrase. Obviously you need food, but not all the junk food you guiltily eat at 3 am. (Freshman 15 is also the common phrase.) Aside from junk food and booze money every once in a while, treat yourself to a movie or show instead.

Rule #12: It's an experience.

Yes, the final goal is the get that piece of paper at the end, but it's the process that led up to that point that really matters. The paper's going to stay in a frame on a wall somewhere, but the memories and life lesson you carry with you wherever you go.

Rule #13: Study smarter, not harder.

8 hours of distracted studying does nothing. Turn off your phone, laptop, music, etc. Grab a water bottle and your notes. 2 hours tops at a time. Take a break for 5 minutes every half hour. Recap at the end of the two hours.

Rule #14: Self-motivate.

The only person who can do it is YOU. Believe in yourself and your ability.

Rule #15: Grades are only a part o fit.

Yes, college is about academic growth, but it's also about personal growth and people skills. There's no class for friendships or relationships. There isn't isn't a textbook or PowerPoint to tell you how to resolve a conflict or balance your time and distribute your attention. So make sure to take the time to figure it out. You'll benefit from being self-taught.

Rule #16: Love is terrifying, but worth the risk.

Just try it. There's no need to over-think it. You deserve to be happy and loved. Give it a shot. You never know. It could be the greatest thing to ever happen to you, but if you run and hide, you'll never know. Don't miss out.

Rule #17: Discuss.

Be it with a friend, companion, pet, parent, etc. Gaining new perspectives and advice is a great way to enlighten yourself and also solve problems using a new perspective. It's also nice to express yourself and vent anything you may have cooped up.

Rule #18: You are allowed to love yourself.

Sometimes you feel obligated to be humble or put yourself down, but you should celebrate your successes. They are something to be proud of, just as you are a person to be proud of.

Rule #19: Document it.

Take pictures, write in a journal. Take some time out of your day to recap the events you've gone through. You never know when you may want to refer back to them. Tomorrow, a week, a month, or a year from now... you'll have a record to look back on, smile, laugh, and even cry over. See how far you've come.

Rule #20: Escape to motivate.

Run away for a weekend. Leave the state and be whoever you want to be, where no one else knows who you are. It's like being a child again. You can pretend to be anything you want without having to worry. Remember that feeling of being invincible and bring it back with your. Because when you return home, you'll be motivated to work towards feeling it again.

I wish you all the best and I hope that these next four years are something you can take away from. Good luck, Ben! I love you!

Always,

Jessica

#letter #personalwriting #advice #college #graduation